Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Dreaded First Post

I'm not a blogger. I don't read or follow other peoples blogs. I've never been a part of the Blogging Community. I'm not even sure I've said the word "blog" more than half a dozen times in my life (until now). Yet somehow, I am still acutely aware of that most terrifying of blogging ailments: First Post Pressure Syndrome.

It starts with the tiniest little fluttering in your stomach. Is it excitement? Is it fear? Could you simply be hungry? Then, you feel that same fluttering travel throughout your entire body. You're not shaking (not yet) but there's definitely a current of... something... traveling through your nervous system. Suddenly, your fingers aren't quite as confident as they travel back and forth along the keyboard. You constantly make typos, having to go back to fix and re-read and re-write because you realize that last bit wasn't phrased quite right. Each mistake knocks you a little further down. You feel yourself break into a cold sweat and start thinking thoughts like "Why am I doing this to myself?" and "Who in their right mind would read this drivel?" and finally - "I'M NOT WORTHY!"

Then, you take a breath and the answers to those very questions come flowing into you. You are doing this to yourself because you'll never reach full potential without a good hard shove out of The Comfort Zone. They're called "challenges" for a reason; they're challenging. Usually they suck and often they don't feel like they're worth the effort, but each one that you come across in life will make you that much stronger and that much more capable. Bring on the challenge.

Who would read this? WHO CARES?!?! Ultimately, I'm writing this for me. To see if I can do it, stick with it, maybe someday even enjoy it. It would be a wonderful bonus for someone else to get as much out of it as I do, but I won't bank on that. Parts of this blog may truly speak to some people and the very same parts could just as easily anger or sadden others. I'm not responsible for every other person out there, but I am responsible for me so that's who I'll write this for.

I'll write this because I am worthy. I'm worthy of the peace of mind it could bring for me to share my thoughts with complete strangers. I'm worthy of being better than I ever thought I could be. I'm worthy of learning things I never knew I never knew. Mostly, I'm worthy of the freedom and happiness that always seems to be so elusive. It's time to live the good life.

I have now written an entire post. The first post. I feel pretty good right now, but I've realized something. Not once have I mentioned crocheting, knitting, felting, weaving or any other kind of yarn art. Let's see what tomorrow brings, shall we?

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