Friday, July 23, 2010

Hello. My name is Cat and I am a crochet addict.

Yesterday morning I opted to crochet for an hour instead of showering, doing my hair and eating a healthy breakfast. I don't regret it. It felt good. Being creative first thing in the morning was a great way to start my day. It's just that... well, it makes me wonder a bit when I skip stuff like basic hygiene in favor of getting my fix.

I wasn't always fascinated with crocheting and knitting. You hear from a lot of people "I learned how to crochet/knit from my (insert family member) when I was a child and I've never stopped since" but that's not quite how it was with me.

I did learn the basics when I was a child from various family members and acquaintances. I think I may have made a pot holder or one of those long, skinny scarf/belt/snake things. It was fun enough, but I was an outgoing child and spent a lot of time running around the neighborhood like a wild child. I was rowdy and didn't tend to do well with anything that required sitting still for extended periods of time.

I kind of skipped over the whole "tween" time and went straight from child to teenager. I have to say, as teenagers go, I was pretty awesome. My mother always knew where I was. I wasn't boy crazy. I didn't drink or smoke or do drugs. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with my family and I was open and honest with my parents (at least, about the stuff that really mattered). Time passed and I mellowed out to become a slightly calmer young adult. I got a job, bought my first car and spent more time just talking with friends. I had finally learned how to sit still for 10 minutes together. Once I conquered that hurdle, it all came together.

As much as I enjoyed just talking with people, I needed something to do with my hands. I found a few of my old crochet books and tried again. It was perfect! Exactly what I needed! A compact, portable project that yielded quick results! All I needed was a ball of yarn and a hook!
Yeah, right. That's just how it starts.

You start looking at patterns and decide you have to make that gorgeous sweater with the lace detailing. Think of all the compliments you'll get! You go out and buy all the materials, find the perfect yarn, get the recommended hook size and start working. You're totally pumped about how everything is going perfectly... until about four rows in. You realize this is waaaaay over your head and you're nowhere near experienced enough for this project. You decide to set it aside for another time and try something a little less challenging, starting the whole process over again. Eventually you will complete a project, using the yarn that you're always buying and never using, but there is very little stopping the world from being taken over by semi-unraveled skeins of yarn and halfway done projects.

This morning, I actually took care of business (and myself). I woke up early enough to shower and fully get ready for the day and still have almost an hour to watch an episode of Bones and get my crochet fix. Take it one day at a time. That's what I have to do. Be sensible about my own limits and prioritize.

Yeah. That's it. Easy.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Dreaded First Post

I'm not a blogger. I don't read or follow other peoples blogs. I've never been a part of the Blogging Community. I'm not even sure I've said the word "blog" more than half a dozen times in my life (until now). Yet somehow, I am still acutely aware of that most terrifying of blogging ailments: First Post Pressure Syndrome.

It starts with the tiniest little fluttering in your stomach. Is it excitement? Is it fear? Could you simply be hungry? Then, you feel that same fluttering travel throughout your entire body. You're not shaking (not yet) but there's definitely a current of... something... traveling through your nervous system. Suddenly, your fingers aren't quite as confident as they travel back and forth along the keyboard. You constantly make typos, having to go back to fix and re-read and re-write because you realize that last bit wasn't phrased quite right. Each mistake knocks you a little further down. You feel yourself break into a cold sweat and start thinking thoughts like "Why am I doing this to myself?" and "Who in their right mind would read this drivel?" and finally - "I'M NOT WORTHY!"

Then, you take a breath and the answers to those very questions come flowing into you. You are doing this to yourself because you'll never reach full potential without a good hard shove out of The Comfort Zone. They're called "challenges" for a reason; they're challenging. Usually they suck and often they don't feel like they're worth the effort, but each one that you come across in life will make you that much stronger and that much more capable. Bring on the challenge.

Who would read this? WHO CARES?!?! Ultimately, I'm writing this for me. To see if I can do it, stick with it, maybe someday even enjoy it. It would be a wonderful bonus for someone else to get as much out of it as I do, but I won't bank on that. Parts of this blog may truly speak to some people and the very same parts could just as easily anger or sadden others. I'm not responsible for every other person out there, but I am responsible for me so that's who I'll write this for.

I'll write this because I am worthy. I'm worthy of the peace of mind it could bring for me to share my thoughts with complete strangers. I'm worthy of being better than I ever thought I could be. I'm worthy of learning things I never knew I never knew. Mostly, I'm worthy of the freedom and happiness that always seems to be so elusive. It's time to live the good life.

I have now written an entire post. The first post. I feel pretty good right now, but I've realized something. Not once have I mentioned crocheting, knitting, felting, weaving or any other kind of yarn art. Let's see what tomorrow brings, shall we?